For the Bride: 5 Tips For Marriage Success
Newlyweds have a sweetness and tenderness that can melt most any heart. Remembering some simple things you used to do during dating, and adding a few new skills can keep those warm feelings glowing. Here are five tips for the bride wanting to be a newlywed for her husband:
1. Cheer it up
Many men think in categories of problems to solve. If you greet your husband with your lists of complaints and struggles, he may feel like your relationship is work rather than a safe haven of mutual support. When you share struggles, include proposed solutions so he knows when you are just venting or communicating.
When you do need to ask for help, share what you have already tried or give specific instructions for what he can do to help. When you want to connect, focus on positive experiences instead of the negative. When he does help, express sincere gratitude. Keeping things cheered up will keep you united at the same time, even when facing challenges.
2. Talk it up
Focusing on the positive doesn't mean ignoring hard conversations. It's one thing not to nag or focus on mistakes, and another thing to clearly communicate about big issues like finances, parenting, and schedules. Expressing your ideas, thoughts, and opinions is an important contribution. Disagreeing is OK, when you know to focus on agreed upon lasting matters while being flexible on differing matters of preference.
3. Clean it up
Creating a home that is a safe haven includes keeping things clean so that your family is safe and well, and keeping things in order so that free time can be spent focused on relationship building and shared activities. Often, a clean home improves mood, and good attitudes are contagious.
Providing a refuge from the world means providing a place that is clear of the chaos and confusion your family must battle away from the home. That means offering peace, providing comfort, and giving hope. With chores done, it is easier to relax, play and enjoy time together.
4. Spice it up
One of the best ways to serve your husband is to meet some of his most basic needs, so that he feels loved and well cared for. Cooking a great meal or an old favorite will translate quickly into how much you love him. Sometimes it's an adventure to try something new, or to make a restaurant favorite at home. Having the meal ready when he is hungry is an easy way to prevent problems that are only biology based and unrelated to your relationship. Save the talking and sharing until after the food is served.
5. Girl it up
Don't worry about comparing yourself to other women, but girl it up in whatever way is uniquely you. Being yourself is the best way to keep things fresh with the man who chose you as his bride. Caring for yourself well with good hygiene, nutrient dense food, moderate exercise, and enough sleep will keep you healthy and strong. Primping it up or dressing up for date night or other special events will keep things fun, even if your dressing up means pulling out those favorite hiking boots.
The best thing about newlyweds is how they love and care for each other so attentively. Being yourself, fulfilling responsibilities, and finding ways to serve your spouse will bring much satisfaction to you both. Love is best expressed through positive words, tender care, and sincere gratitude.
Emily Christensen, PhD, LCPC